I've been traveling lately, so the next few blogs will be on that topic.
For those of you that fly, here are
several rules of conduct.
- A Carry On is a small bag, not all your luggage because your too f'ing lazy or cheap.
- Though I'm sure you are a special needs person, “Wanting to get on the plane first.”, does not qualify, wait until they call your row. That courtesy is extended to people who have a physical, not mental need for it.
- If you have found your row, sit the F' down, standing in the aisle to take off your jacket or get one last stretch holds up the entire plane.
- Pressing the stewardess button, unless you are in first class, before everyone else is seated just turns on a dickhead beacon.
- If you need to put more than one bag in the overhead, quickly press the stewardess button and read rule 4.
- A coach seat is not an extra space seat, an extra space seat is not a first class seat. If you do not know the difference of privileges, don't complain, squeeze another dime out of your ass next time and find out.
- The restroom is not supposed to look like a third world nation. If you have not learned to go to the bathroom like a human being, at least figure out how to clean up like one.
- When deboarding the plane, if you put something in the overhead that takes more than five seconds to take out, sit the F' down and wait. Realize that some of the 120 people behind you need to catch connecting planes.
- The luggage carousel is not a Disney ride. If, when you grab your bag, people are placing odds on you or the carousel while it drags you around, your bag is too heavy. If you can not lift your luggage, you should not take it with you or expect someone else to do the heavy lifting for you.
