Nebraska, Change Your Name To Stupid.

Pow, pow, pow.

Signing Exact English (SEE) is a form of American sign language. The gesture modified for a deaf child named Hunter is crossed fingers pointing forward moving up and down.

Where am I going with this?

A pre-schooler in Nebraska is being asked to change his name from Hunter or not come to school because of their weapons policy. They claim, "Weapons in Schools" Board Policy 8470 forbids "any instrument...that looks like a weapon,". Wait, a three year old's crossed-fingers look like... guns... dynamite... Twizzlers?   Really?  For that matter, what does a weapon look like?

I can't even get to the level of stupidity of a Nebraska school board member, so let's pretend they said, '...any item that can be used as a weapon...'. Let's follow that logic.

• No Utensils could be used to prepare or eat food.  They all are, or could be used as weapons.
• No Pens or pencils could be used to write.   Pens are mightier than swords.
• No chairs or furniture.  I've seen old westerns, they are weapons.
• No Pocketbooks or book bags.  Swing them and you got a weapon.
• No Rulers. hell, I may have to agree with this one. Nuns are well versed in the ancient art of ruler-fu. I have arthritis in my knuckles to prove it.
• No cleaning agents. They could be used as chemical weapons.
• No Cars in the parking lot.  I've seen loads of car bombs on the news.
• No School buses.  Watch Speed... No don't, that may actual lower your IQ to only ten times that of a Nebraska school board member.
• No fingers, no toes, no knees, no elbows.  I've watched Bruce Lee movies, all of these are potential weapons.

I could keep going, but this getting tedious for me, so it must be painful for you.

I Digress...

This is about a deaf child who is being denied an obviously substandard education at a Nebraska public school, unless he changes his name. Just a couple of the many ideas that popped into my head.:

• Make his name  sound like a dirty word with a clean sign. That way if a teacher says his name, they'd probably be in violation of some obscure school board profanity policy. 
• Change his name to something like, 'Nebraska School Board Members Are All Idiots', it would be a handful, but probably doesn't violate any policies.

In an age where our public schools are failing our children, do we really need school boards that make up asinine and obscure rules?  I have an idea for anyone who lives in Grand Island, Nebraska.  FIRE YOUR ENTIRE SCHOOL BOARD.

If you see them in the streets, teach them a whole new sign language.

Grand Island Nebraska School Board.