Tuesday Tips for Living Alone (and even with people) – Taking out the garbage.

No, this is not going to be a political bashing, though by the title, it's iffy. Today is about the wonderful world of garbage and how it gets from point a, your house to point b, the curb. When you live with more than one person, there is a trash day safety net. That is, if one person forgets to bring the can(s) to the street, there are 'backup people' to take care of the task. When you live alone, the backup has crashed and if you forget the task, your front yard begins to smell worse then American Idol's new judges.

There is a bright side to living alone though. I HATE overflowing garbage bags, cans, fill form of container in here. When you live with other people, a centuries old game of 'last piece in takes the garbage out' becomes a daily event. In this game Jenga-like skill is used to get one more piece of garbage into the container. The game continues until the trash bin gets to the point of 'filled ten pieces ago' or explodes with enough force to leave a crater the size of a football field. I don't think that there is a family household in America that does not play this game.

I started living alone and the game ended rather abruptly. At first I actually missed it and would throw random, 'foul shots' onto the floor. Later, I would pick them up in disgust and add them to their awaiting friends, that had made it to their destination the first time, just as I had always done. Eventually, I decided to get rid of my larger garbage can in favor of smaller bags that I could empty more often and easily replenish when I went shopping.

When the kids come over on the weekends, they still try luring me into the game. When I reprimand them and ask, “Can you not see the bag is full? Did you not see the paper towel plop out onto the floor?”. They look at me with confusion. In their mind, I'm convinced that garbage is like cartoon characters, “That Pesky Paper Towel Pete, He jumped out of the garbage boat again. I hear he's armed and dangerous, I better leave him be... on the floor.”.

This brings up the solution for both living with people and living alone. If your problem is living with people who don't understand that the bag's cavity is finite, empty the bag more often; put it on a schedule. Empty the bag once or twice a day whether it needs it not. If it seems like more work, consider what it takes to clean the floor or trash cabinet or crater from the overflow.

If you're single, Look for that one neighbor that thinks he is the mayor of the town, you know the one. He usually lives across from you and complains about all of the city ordinances you've broken by sneezing on a Friday, by an open gate. Chances are, this person lives for leaf collection and breathes garbage day. If you were still in high school, you'd flagpole him (probably by the pole he has in his front yard.). If all else fails, set an appointment alarm on your cel phone (that is what it's for).