Bob The Bull Dog, Yes We Can.

So, my buddy needed to go on a business trip and asked if I could take care of his Bull dog. Being the nice guy (read sucker) that I am, I agreed. Almost two weeks later I realize I made a mistake. Bob, the bull dog is awesome. He is a 90lb pile of wrinkles, hair and cute that spews disgusting by-products from every orifice. We are not talking usual body functions either. Mucus comes from his eyes, drool come from his jowls, smelly oils come from his skin, you get the picture.

Not currently being a dog owner, I forgot how much time and energy goes into a dog, especially one as needy as Bob. Unfortunately when Bob got to my house he was so out of shape, he couldn't even do a two hundred yard walk without taking five rests along the way. I know bull dogs are generally lethargic, but there comes a point in time when you have to decide whether to walk a dog or start burying it.

Did someone say snoring. Yup, bull dogs are notorious for that and Bob brings it to a whole new level. The lawn people actually came to my door at 8:00a.m. And asked me if I could turn down the wood chipper, they were getting complaints.

Don't get me wrong, Bob is a big lug-of-love. He's fun to watch, when he's awake. He is friendly to everyone. He's playful (in a short burst or one-off kind of way). He's solid enough to pet. In fact he is so solid, when he's bad, you can't physically hurt this dog, so you have to hurt his feelings. He gets his feelings hurt easily, too easily. I brought Bob to see the neighbor's dog, a Pomeranian. The Pomeranian is a great dog, she's small, friendly and spoiled beyond belief. Her first impression of Bob was Holy S#!^, Godzirra!!!! Of course when she barked and walked away from Bob, Bob started crying. Every visit over there ends up with Bob crying.

My biggest issue with Bob is that he keeps me at the co-op, I feel like I can't leave. He whines for attention more than he breathes. The few times I've left the co-op, he has barked non-stop and the time I left for 4 hours, he thought it would be cute to poop on his blanket. Two more days of Bob. I'd like to say I'll miss him but I know, though he will not be here, his smell will linger on.