I Hate Facebook and Twitter

I don't think it is the actual services, so much as it is their impact on our dimwitted society. I was out the other night and a woman actually said, “Face Palm”. Really? I'm less than two feet from you. In fact, I'm looking right at you. Are you so lazy that you can't do the gesture or has your feeble mind lost the ability to express itself in person? At this rate, everyone will walk around expressionless and just talk. Next time someone verbalizes an expression, I think I'll have to blurt out, “Middle finger!”, and see if they get it.

Another thing that has to go is the idea that an acronym or abbreviation of something is an actual word, W.T.F.? I understand in this day and age there are some typing challenged people (maybe 5), but do you talk so slow that you need to say it out loud in that form? As if saying everything in short form isn't bad enough, pictures have become verbalized. Since when has heart become a synonym for love? People actually type out or say, 'I heart you' . Every time I hear this, I want to stab them in the love.

Text streams. I understand the need for people to communicate on a constant basis, when they have something to say, but must they discuss their every waking thought and action, no matter how inappropriate. For those of you who don't use these services, I'll give you a quick rundown of what your missing and some translations of the acronyms, in italics.

I just pooped and it was brown and green, IDIOT (I Did It In Our Toilet)

#toilet

You must be STUPID (Stunned That U Pooped In Der)

#casual user

Oops, I dropped my phone in while typing, I need to RITALIN (Reach In Toilet And Laugh Insanely Now)

#toilet

I can't believe you reached in there and are typing CRAP (Clever Rhyming Acronym Poetry)

#Lazy Bum

That's funny, 'in' rhymes with 'RITALIN'. I bet you FART (Fear Another Raging Turd)

# I'm confused

I have to BEAT (Be Entertaining And Teach) my child.

#toilet

OK, I'm BEATing my child now. He has a booger in his nose. :?)

#toilet

Last time my child had one, I scraped it out with a Hanger. 8@(

#clueless

I heart using hangers

#toilet

This dribble goes on non-stop minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day. When something finally does happen exciting in the persons life, nobody really gives a crap.

Where is all this leading to? My teenage daughter just opened a Facebook account. Now I'll have to open one, to keep an eye on her. How unkewl is that?