Age of Reason?

So, my dad is up from TX, and I started thinking, he's 32 years my senior. Then I start thinking, I celebrated my 40^th birthday three months ago. I'm actually older than my dad was when I was born. Holy crap, my youngest daughter is turning 8 this year, I remember my dad when I was 8. Now I start thinking, I don't feel forty, wait, what is forty supposed to feel like? Did I feel like 40 when I was 20 or do I feel 20 now that I am forty?

I recently joined linkedin and started looking up friends and ex-coworkers. I categorized them by how long it's been since I've talked to them. 1-5 years, 5-10 years, 10-15 years, here's where I go woe, 15-20 years and finally 20-25 years. Holy shit, I haven't talked to these people in so long, we've missed major events in each others lives; marriages, births, near deaths, deaths divorces, etc.. These are people I swore I'd never lose touch with, people who knew me better than I knew myself. I like to blame getting married for losing touch with them and that's convenient, now that the marriage is over, I have been spending a lot of time with friends and trying to re-establish old acquaintances.

Getting back to my point, I'm now 40, just a number? Yes and no, I feel young, I feel healthier than ever before in my life, I've earned an unbelievable amount of wisdom. When I look in my heart I see a young man still trying to figure the world out, trying to see things for the very first time, starting his life anew. When I look in the mirror, I see a 40 year old bachelor trying to come to grips with middle age, not in crisis, but in confusion. When I look in my daughters' eyes, I see Superman, a hero who can do little wrong, who will protect them and guide them forever.

So who am I? At any given time, I'm a little bit of each, but above all I am someone journeying through life with the lessons of 40 years. I have learned life is not forever. Anyone who has had a brush with death knows there is no set expiration date on their heel, just a use before date on their body. Life changes when you get older from an expectation to a gift. So, for now, I enjoy life to it's fullest . As the great philosopher Jeffrow says, “All men die, not all men LIVE!”