Strange Reflections. Aka. Terminal Velocity.

I've always hated Christmas and New Years.

Christmas because of several family issues when I was younger and New Years, because it is an arbitrary day that marks a hard reflection on life.

As years move on, I am so amazed at how quickly time moves forward. A cruel joke of speeding up towards demise. Now it's over two years in my condo. It seems like just yesterday I moved in. At 18, I moved to TX for two years that seemed so much longer. When I was 4-5 it felt like I had watched Godzilla and the Million Dollar Movies on WWOR for a lifetime. In all honesty it was a fifth of my life at the time.

Maybe, as time's perception speeds up, we need to quicken the pace at which we celebrate life. When people get older, we should wish them Happy New Month, Happy New Week, Happy New Day, Happy New Hour. Sooner or later we all reach Terminal Velocity.

Happy New Minute!!!

Those You Touch In Life, Define Who You Are.

I wrote this blog in October.  Not sure why I didn't post it, but here it is...

I see so many people who live their lives not thinking of others. During a flight I was on last week a lady next to me was playing armrest wars. After every passive tactic I could muster failed, my temper began to flare. As I began to form the words to explain to her that the armrest is a boundary and going over that boundary was encroaching on my personal space and an act of war (a tirade, unfortunately, well rehearsed on many flights before) a strange thought came over me. I thought, what would be my legacy? What would be the legacy of the people on the plane? Who would remember John Doe in seat 17B if anything happened? I began to realize our legacies, for most of us, are not what we did, how much we made or what we owned. Our legacies would be stretched across time and location in the minds and hearts of people who we came in contact with. There is a negative and a positive to that philosophy. Malcontent towards others is contagious, but thankfully, so to is kindness. In the acts of strangers, we have all been forged.

I began to think of the things that I would want said at my funeral  Nothing said would truly sum me up or make a difference, as much as my day to day actions. The times where I chose to act, made a simple gesture or even just smiled at someone who looked like their day was not going well. Simple acts have larger consequences, mostly unseen. Simple acts not only define our lives, but the lives of others that we touch.

I smiled looked over at the woman and began, “Excuse me, I need to reach my seat belt.”. She harrumphed, moved her arm for the action and quickly moved it back, her elbow now dangerously close to my crotch. I took a deep breath... Smiled again, tapped her on the elbow and said, "Excuse me, your arm is in my seat.". She gave me a dirty look and did a splendid faux move, that didn't fool anyone.

“SERENITY NOW!” flashed across my mind like the ticker in Times Square. I tried to smile (though I'm sure it looked disingenuous), I struggled to maintain an even tone, “You can have the armrest, I would just like to have my seat if possible.”. The lady, in a shrill tone and indistinguishable(possibly Slavic) accent began, “I specifically purchased a seat with extra room. I expect to get it.”. She then quickly turned away from me to talk to, whom I assume was, her husband. 

Remember that whole serenity sign... black out! I widened my eyes, bared my teeth, poked her in the arm and glaringly stated, “SO DID I!!! If I don't get at least the space of my seat, I will make your flight hell!!!! Do we need the stewardess?”. The lady quickly moved her arm. Turned to her companion and said something in a language I could not place. The gray bearded man looked over at me, as if in pain. Did I feel pity for him? YEAH! Did I still stare him down, yeah. I never got my answer about the stewardess. Strangely the rest of the flight they were both very amicable.

OK, so maybe, just maybe, it's not only the kinder acts that define us, but the tougher ones too.

3rd Times A Scam.

OK, I mentioned I started on match.com, The site will allow me to send a virtual 'wink' or even an email to a potential match. It gives me daily picks that, supposedly, fit what I'm looking for. It's kind of like internet shopping for a date, but without a guaranteed inventory system (just like lowes.com). I view the initial eight matches and pair them down to five I send a few winks and two emails. This dating stuff seems easy again.

Two days later, sure enough I got three emails, two from women who live way too far away and one from a woman I 'winked' at that lives about 25 miles away. I discard the first two and consider the third. She is on the young side of the scale at 30. Her message reads that she is tired of the dating sites and will no longer be on match.com, but I can email her personal email address. Spidey senses started tingling. I emailed back to '25 mile away' woman and sent out emails to three more ladies. I then realize two of the women haven't been on the site in more than 3 weeks, whoops, that was a waste.

'25 mile away' woman sent me back an email saying, in poor English, that she grew up in England, lost her parents and would like to get to know me better. She works for the world health organization and when she is on leave, she would like to visit. She stresses that, 'she has very few money but is not needing for money, yet.'. She also attaches three pictures that do not look like the one on the, now defunct, profile at match.com, in fact they look like they are of an internet pornstar (Not that I'd know that it was Melissa Midwest.). Spidey senses explode! She actually said 'not needing... YET'. Wholly crap, people actual scam people for money on dating sites?

I quickly searched, 'match.com scams' and for the first time in my life got a google of results on Google. Turns out about 40% of all dating site profiles are fakes, set up in London or Nigeria by con artists. I read a bunch of articles, blogs, etc. about people who actually wired money to people overseas in the hopes of a date or getting more money in return. I began to wonder, with that many gullible people, can the human race as a whole, really survive carrying that much dead weight? Yeah, you can say I'm being critical or cruel or cynical, but really, falling for the Nigerian email scam through a dating site? That's a new level of...Duh!

On a lighter note, match.com does not seem so bad.  It takes a while to understand how it really works, but once you figure out how to tell members from non, things do actually seem to move along.

Playing With Speed.

Freehand Slowing Down The Shutter Speed

Rushing The Wall

So many blogs I've written don't even get posted and I'm usually shocked at the time between posts. Two weeks ago I wrote a blog(not posted) about taking up tennis. I have not taken formal training, I just went out, bought a good racquet and began practicing on the wall at the park. I thought of all the lessons that you learn by playing tennis against a wall. Things like:

“No matter how hard you try, the ball always ends up back in your court.”

“You can never win, playing against a wall, but you can always keep improving by doing so.”

“Sometimes the outcome is inevitable, but the motions still worthy of completing.”

“Just because your opponent can not be defeated, does not mean you can not succeed when against him.”

The last two weeks have been too cold for me to play and I tweaked my back doing another new sport, bowling. Reading back the nearly completed blog, I realized the lessons it contained have a so much broader application for life.

The more volleys we get in the better we feel about ourselves. The more we apply ourselves, the more we get out of it. The more we realize we want to win, but winning isn't always attainable, the better we can become.

I'm thankful that my play against the wall so far has left me a little banged up, a little wiser and ready to continue improving myself when I can.

Original Photo

Photo credits go to Lizzy.  Gimping Emily out of the shot was done by me.

Merry Santamas! aka. Another reason I'm not religious.

Christmas morning at 1:32a.m. 

All the shopping is done.

All the gifts wrapped.

Christmas Eve dinner was a success.

All the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. 

The gifts are under the tree. 

Dinner is prepped for tomorrow. 

The kids are dreaming of tablets and 3d Nintendo. 

I'm exhausted and thankful that it is almost over. 

Then it hits me... “Why is the whole christian world waiting for Santa Claus and not Jesus?”

Merry Santamas!

Setting Match.com On Fire?

All my local friends, who were single, are no longer single.  I'm the last one standing.  This causes a number of problems. My female friends' new boyfriends aren't happy when a single guy hangs out with their girlfriend.  My guy friends' girlfriends don't like them hanging out with the single ex-wingman. Lastly, going out with a 'couple' more than once in a while makes you a flat third wheel.

In light of this, I decided to join a dating site last week. Thought hell, why not, friends have done it with some success, how hard could it be? Day one, try signing up for match.com and it wouldn't take my credit card. I should have taken that as some cosmic foreshadowing, but I'm really not that bright. I called up customer service and my card goes through. They explain that if I do not find someone in six months, they will give me the next six free. Wow! So if it doesn't work in the first six months, They somehow think the second six will render MUCH better results. They give you stats on everything else on the site, nowhere are there any stats on that.

I set up my profile, wrote a quick summary of me and what I do. Now it's time to put a picture up. Well, I'm the photographer. Always being behind the camera means I'm very rarely in front of it. There is a reason I'm not in front of a camera. When I was younger, I thought I was the ugliest person in the universe. Why, because I am so 'not photogenic', my good side is from below. I really thought I looked like I did in the majority of the pictures until a photographer friend convinced me I really wasn't that bad and took a good picture of me. I'm not saying when I saw it that I was the best looking guy in the world, but I was far from the worst. Short story long, I downloaded a picture I took when I was dabbling in other dating sites a year ago, one that looks like I was posing and shocked to be photographed, at the same time. I figure, what the hell, the women will be pleasantly surprised when they see me in person. I look better than I do in that picture and I can always change it out. 

That leads to Thanksgiving night, I have a friend take several pictures of me. I think, now I'll have a good picture to put up on the site. OK, somehow I forgot how 'non photogenic' I am. The best picture out of the dozen or so makes me look like Farsworth from Futurama, if I lost the facial hair and added some wrinkles. No matter, up on the site it goes.

Farnsworth

ME

It's time to start searching. I punch up women in my area 36-42 looking for a 41 year old guy. Wow, this looks great, a whole bunch of hits. Now it's time to play the odds game. Click on the first one and the profile looks really good. Hey, this computer dating thing isn't so bad. Attractive brunette, 39, 5'0, cool profile. That is until I get to the, 'HER DATE' portion. Her date according to her profile is 5'11 or better. Really? The guy needs to be at least 11 inches taller than her? OK, that's only the first, profile. Number two Age 38, cute brunette, 5'2, interesting profile, Her Date 5'10. I continued on to several more ladies and the majority of them are looking for a guy at least six inches taller than they are. Wow, I've seen stripper heels that wouldn't make up for those differences. To give reference, I'm 5'6¾ . I put down 5'6 for my profile until a friend explained the whole rounding thing to me and I changed it to 5'7.

Now, I can understand if your athletic and want someone athletic or are into a particular hobby and want to make sure your potential dates are also interested in that hobby, but to say you want someone that much taller would be akin to me saying, must be a super model with d-cups.

After some thought, I talked to several friends who have done the internet dating thing and what they said, shocked me. The women said that the men they dated all lied about their height, so I should too. The men said that I should not only lie about my height, but use the term 'laid back' in my profile because the women all like that.  Some men claimed most of the women on dating sites lie about their age, so it would be OK for me to 'exaggerate' things.  All agreed that nobody looks like their pictures anyway and the profiles are just a game. Huh? So to find someone who I expect to be honest with me and in turn someone who expects me to be honest with them, we both lie? I already stated that I'm not the brightest guy in the world, but I don't think that's a real good start for a relationship. If that disqualifies me from dating women who do, then so be it. Maybe this internet dating thing is hard.