Those You Touch In Life, Define Who You Are.

I wrote this blog in October.  Not sure why I didn't post it, but here it is...

I see so many people who live their lives not thinking of others. During a flight I was on last week a lady next to me was playing armrest wars. After every passive tactic I could muster failed, my temper began to flare. As I began to form the words to explain to her that the armrest is a boundary and going over that boundary was encroaching on my personal space and an act of war (a tirade, unfortunately, well rehearsed on many flights before) a strange thought came over me. I thought, what would be my legacy? What would be the legacy of the people on the plane? Who would remember John Doe in seat 17B if anything happened? I began to realize our legacies, for most of us, are not what we did, how much we made or what we owned. Our legacies would be stretched across time and location in the minds and hearts of people who we came in contact with. There is a negative and a positive to that philosophy. Malcontent towards others is contagious, but thankfully, so to is kindness. In the acts of strangers, we have all been forged.

I began to think of the things that I would want said at my funeral  Nothing said would truly sum me up or make a difference, as much as my day to day actions. The times where I chose to act, made a simple gesture or even just smiled at someone who looked like their day was not going well. Simple acts have larger consequences, mostly unseen. Simple acts not only define our lives, but the lives of others that we touch.

I smiled looked over at the woman and began, “Excuse me, I need to reach my seat belt.”. She harrumphed, moved her arm for the action and quickly moved it back, her elbow now dangerously close to my crotch. I took a deep breath... Smiled again, tapped her on the elbow and said, "Excuse me, your arm is in my seat.". She gave me a dirty look and did a splendid faux move, that didn't fool anyone.

“SERENITY NOW!” flashed across my mind like the ticker in Times Square. I tried to smile (though I'm sure it looked disingenuous), I struggled to maintain an even tone, “You can have the armrest, I would just like to have my seat if possible.”. The lady, in a shrill tone and indistinguishable(possibly Slavic) accent began, “I specifically purchased a seat with extra room. I expect to get it.”. She then quickly turned away from me to talk to, whom I assume was, her husband. 

Remember that whole serenity sign... black out! I widened my eyes, bared my teeth, poked her in the arm and glaringly stated, “SO DID I!!! If I don't get at least the space of my seat, I will make your flight hell!!!! Do we need the stewardess?”. The lady quickly moved her arm. Turned to her companion and said something in a language I could not place. The gray bearded man looked over at me, as if in pain. Did I feel pity for him? YEAH! Did I still stare him down, yeah. I never got my answer about the stewardess. Strangely the rest of the flight they were both very amicable.

OK, so maybe, just maybe, it's not only the kinder acts that define us, but the tougher ones too.