Ladies,
If you are my age (or older) are single and are planning on having a baby... that's a clock that makes Big Ben go, “DAMN, that ticking is loud.”. If you are married and planning for a child in your 40's, God bless but, if you don't have a relationship yet and somehow think you are going to meet a guy, skip all formalities and have a baby, it's like me saying I want to be a baseball player. Even if I was the best player in the universe, no one would draft me, sight unseen, knowing at my age, I only had a good year or two left in me. Do you not understand that there was a time for that and chances are that time is called the past.
Age is a crueler mistress to women than men. Women have a biological time frame in which they can have a child without medical issue. Men we can have children at whatever age we want. Sadly we don't realize how amazing children are until after we have them. That being said, most men don't want to coach soccer from behind a walker or get a senior discount at Babies 'R' Us.
I'm not saying you 40 something women aren't sexy, or that there is anything wrong with not having a child. I'm also not saying 40+ women can't plan a relationship, a marriage, a baby and get it all in under the wire; it is kind of like saying a dog can't jump from the Empire State Building. We all know it can happen, it just shouldn't and the impact on the dog would probably be detrimental.
So ladies, you've made it past forty without child and relationship. Congratulations, it's not the end of the world. Maybe reproduction is not for you. There are always nieces and nephews and friends with kids that are looking for a babysitter.
Have you ever watched one of those movies where there is a guy disarming a bomb and the digital timer is blurring a countdown at an incredible rate... 3.01, 2.05, 1.09, 0.23. and the guy has to choose the blue or red wire before time runs out and right at the end of the movie he snips one. Ladies you are the credits that roll at the end of those movies.
I think there are a surprisingly high amount of men who want the same thing -- older guys wanting kids for the first time. Usually they want younger women, but are also ambivalent about age differences being too high, so the woman can't be TOO young but also can't be too old.
ReplyDeleteI do know a lot of people where I work having kids for the first time between 40-42 but they also were not seeking a relationship since they already had one established for years, just getting a late start.
Even if I wanted kids, I would be extremely ambivalent about having them at a late age for exactly the reason you stated: health concerns. It's not entirely without risk for older guys too though, even one paired up with a young lass. Kids fathered by older men have been associated with a greater risk for autism.
It makes me kinda sad that all these people yearn for something they probably will never get. But that would be like me yearning to be a ballerina. I think a healthy dose of reality is good. :)
There are a lot of men who want children later in life, most that I know decided on having children in their second marriage and married a younger woman.
ReplyDeleteThe intent of the post was, as usual, a poke at society. I do feel for people (especially women) who decide they want a child so much later in life. I cherish my children, but know that being a parent is not for everyone and am sure a future post will be about people who have children and probably shouldn't but that's a whole other topic. :)