Go To Guy Etiquette.

I've been in a self deprecating mood lately (last 40 years) and haven't written anything in angst for a while, so your in for a treat. I'm the the guy people ask advice from. Whether they are buying a digital camera, going to a good place to eat or need to know the best way to hook up their new A/V equipment. I do a tremendous amount of research on the Internet before I purchase an item or even when I am just thinking of purchasing an item. I follow technology and new products and generally keep myself up to date on everything. Thanks to that and my ongoing insomnia, I should reach the end of the. Internet on July 22, 2015.
I really don't mind giving advice when I'm qualified on a subject and if I'm not, I'll usually research a topic until my eyes bleed in the quest for knowledge. Giving advice though can and usually does backfire. For those of you that ask advice, think about these points before talking to your "go to" guy.

Point A
Advice not taken is not cause for bitching about the results you got. If told you should purchase widget a, do not bitch that widget b sucks moose and engage in a conversation about it. "I told you so", should end any such conversation immediately. If you want a shitty product don't ask for recommendation, just buy the cheapest POS you can find and complain to their lack of customer service.

Point B
There is not a sign saying, "Customer Service" above my door. I do not get paid by any company to endorse their products. They pay a meager staff of people in a third world nation pennies a day to do that. I am more than happy to help, just don't have any expectations of me going into the process.

Point C
No, I really am not customer service. If you ask a question of me, make sure you've read the F'n manual and also spent countless hours on the phone with 'Jeff' from Punjubastan interpreting his broken English. I do not know Punjubastanese, so please don't expect me to talk to 'Jeff' for you.

Point D
My house is not a repair shop and no RMA has my address on it. if you drop something off that doesn't work in hopes that I will fix it In my imaginary spare time or that the repair fairy will fix it magically in the night you are sadly mistaken. I know my house is clean, to keep it that way, if you bring a broken item over, It will be thrown out.

Point E
Dinner or an invite that is a thin guise to have me fix your crap or teach you how to use your cell phone, digital camera or brain will henceforth be treated as an act of war, not friendship. Be forthcoming and when/ If I have the time to help you, I will

Point F
I am not a substitute for your manual. If you are lucky enough to have me show you how to do something once, consider yourself more blessed than the pope and F'n pay attention. I won't make the same mistake twice.

I could keep going, but I think people get the point. I don't mind helping people who constantly help others or truly need help. I will no longer help those who are lazier than one eyed sloths or people who don't do their own trouble shooting first. Asking a question will usually get an answer, demanding resolution is abuse. If you can't read a manual, call your local grade school not me.