Bartender, Make It A Double.

Maybe I'm just picky, but here is how the bar scene has been going lately. All the women I meet that are around my age have been falling into four categories.

Category 1: I'm The Best and I Owe It All To Me.
These are the women you meet and while first talking to them, they sound perfect. They start out telling you how great of a mom they are to their kids. A plus. Then they tell you about how they love their job. A plus again. Then they elaborate on how they went through a brutal divorce and are now completely self made. They own their own house/condo, they bought themselves a new fancy car. They have money in the bank. They lure you into thinking that they must be a high powered lawyer or corporate exec.. Then they tell you what they 'do for a living'. "I work in retail", or "I'm a administrative assistant", (I think that's code for secretary). I have no problem with people working in these professions, but you didn't buy a house, a car, put your kids in private school, or become wealthy by working at your job. You earned money the same way my ex wife did. You married a sucker, divorced him, get more money a year than the average family makes in your state and now your touting financial independence. F minus. If you want a shot at a guy who makes money, tell it like it is, you are a hard worker who is subsidized by your ex to afford a lifestyle you could not possibly afford on your own. Tell me that and you'll keep my interest.

Category 2: I Haven't Found The Right Guy Yet (Because he doesn't exist).
These women all start out the same, “I've never been married, don't have any kids and can't seem to find the right guy. I've had a string of short term relationships that end with me having a broken heart.”. If you are my age, that's a really long string. D minus. They go on about how they are looking for a guy with looks, money, personality, fancy car, fancy house, likes to cook, likes to clean. Basically these women want a gay guy who will support them while they sit on the couch and eat bonbons or go to the mall so they can smell the scent of his burning plastic. They usually avoid telling you what their career is at any cost, but are not ashamed of telling you your faults. F minus. Basically, these women are looking for a guy that doesn't exist and are going to take it out on any guy they can.

Category 3: Some Call Her Easy.
Ladies, some of us guys are still old fashioned. If you want to sleep with us, that is great. I understand and enjoy the fact that women are a lot more forward than they were when I was younger. Please refrain from throwing a condom on the bar. I don't want to have to play, “How many from the 100 pack she bought on Monday does she still have on Friday?”. At least make me believe I am one in a million, not one of a million. F minus, and have that checked.

Category 4: Mrs. I Was Divorced/Broke Up Last Month And Am Ready To Date.
These women are usually found at coping with divorce meetings and the like. I know men and women who started dating immediately after divorce and done fine doing so. These women are not them. These ladies believe their ex should be part of their next relationship. They find it important to mention things like, “You fill in quality here, just like my ex.”. I can't go lower than F minus, can I?  These ladies will go insane if you make a joke about their ex, yet feel they can spew trash about him until, just like him, you leave. F minus.

I'm not saying I'm the end all be all catch and yes, I am very critical of people. Thanks to the above type women, I no longer go to bars thinking I'll meet any long term prospects. I always say, “I'm not actively looking”, the reason why, is that it is proving difficult to find a normal woman without the emotional hang-ups or drama. Most people will say it is my fault, bars will probably attract the above type women. I agree, that is why my next attempt is going to be on Craig's List.