Strange Reflections. Aka. Terminal Velocity.

I've always hated Christmas and New Years.

Christmas because of several family issues when I was younger and New Years, because it is an arbitrary day that marks a hard reflection on life.

As years move on, I am so amazed at how quickly time moves forward. A cruel joke of speeding up towards demise. Now it's over two years in my condo. It seems like just yesterday I moved in. At 18, I moved to TX for two years that seemed so much longer. When I was 4-5 it felt like I had watched Godzilla and the Million Dollar Movies on WWOR for a lifetime. In all honesty it was a fifth of my life at the time.

Maybe, as time's perception speeds up, we need to quicken the pace at which we celebrate life. When people get older, we should wish them Happy New Month, Happy New Week, Happy New Day, Happy New Hour. Sooner or later we all reach Terminal Velocity.

Happy New Minute!!!

Those You Touch In Life, Define Who You Are.

I wrote this blog in October.  Not sure why I didn't post it, but here it is...

I see so many people who live their lives not thinking of others. During a flight I was on last week a lady next to me was playing armrest wars. After every passive tactic I could muster failed, my temper began to flare. As I began to form the words to explain to her that the armrest is a boundary and going over that boundary was encroaching on my personal space and an act of war (a tirade, unfortunately, well rehearsed on many flights before) a strange thought came over me. I thought, what would be my legacy? What would be the legacy of the people on the plane? Who would remember John Doe in seat 17B if anything happened? I began to realize our legacies, for most of us, are not what we did, how much we made or what we owned. Our legacies would be stretched across time and location in the minds and hearts of people who we came in contact with. There is a negative and a positive to that philosophy. Malcontent towards others is contagious, but thankfully, so to is kindness. In the acts of strangers, we have all been forged.

I began to think of the things that I would want said at my funeral  Nothing said would truly sum me up or make a difference, as much as my day to day actions. The times where I chose to act, made a simple gesture or even just smiled at someone who looked like their day was not going well. Simple acts have larger consequences, mostly unseen. Simple acts not only define our lives, but the lives of others that we touch.

I smiled looked over at the woman and began, “Excuse me, I need to reach my seat belt.”. She harrumphed, moved her arm for the action and quickly moved it back, her elbow now dangerously close to my crotch. I took a deep breath... Smiled again, tapped her on the elbow and said, "Excuse me, your arm is in my seat.". She gave me a dirty look and did a splendid faux move, that didn't fool anyone.

“SERENITY NOW!” flashed across my mind like the ticker in Times Square. I tried to smile (though I'm sure it looked disingenuous), I struggled to maintain an even tone, “You can have the armrest, I would just like to have my seat if possible.”. The lady, in a shrill tone and indistinguishable(possibly Slavic) accent began, “I specifically purchased a seat with extra room. I expect to get it.”. She then quickly turned away from me to talk to, whom I assume was, her husband. 

Remember that whole serenity sign... black out! I widened my eyes, bared my teeth, poked her in the arm and glaringly stated, “SO DID I!!! If I don't get at least the space of my seat, I will make your flight hell!!!! Do we need the stewardess?”. The lady quickly moved her arm. Turned to her companion and said something in a language I could not place. The gray bearded man looked over at me, as if in pain. Did I feel pity for him? YEAH! Did I still stare him down, yeah. I never got my answer about the stewardess. Strangely the rest of the flight they were both very amicable.

OK, so maybe, just maybe, it's not only the kinder acts that define us, but the tougher ones too.

3rd Times A Scam.

OK, I mentioned I started on match.com, The site will allow me to send a virtual 'wink' or even an email to a potential match. It gives me daily picks that, supposedly, fit what I'm looking for. It's kind of like internet shopping for a date, but without a guaranteed inventory system (just like lowes.com). I view the initial eight matches and pair them down to five I send a few winks and two emails. This dating stuff seems easy again.

Two days later, sure enough I got three emails, two from women who live way too far away and one from a woman I 'winked' at that lives about 25 miles away. I discard the first two and consider the third. She is on the young side of the scale at 30. Her message reads that she is tired of the dating sites and will no longer be on match.com, but I can email her personal email address. Spidey senses started tingling. I emailed back to '25 mile away' woman and sent out emails to three more ladies. I then realize two of the women haven't been on the site in more than 3 weeks, whoops, that was a waste.

'25 mile away' woman sent me back an email saying, in poor English, that she grew up in England, lost her parents and would like to get to know me better. She works for the world health organization and when she is on leave, she would like to visit. She stresses that, 'she has very few money but is not needing for money, yet.'. She also attaches three pictures that do not look like the one on the, now defunct, profile at match.com, in fact they look like they are of an internet pornstar (Not that I'd know that it was Melissa Midwest.). Spidey senses explode! She actually said 'not needing... YET'. Wholly crap, people actual scam people for money on dating sites?

I quickly searched, 'match.com scams' and for the first time in my life got a google of results on Google. Turns out about 40% of all dating site profiles are fakes, set up in London or Nigeria by con artists. I read a bunch of articles, blogs, etc. about people who actually wired money to people overseas in the hopes of a date or getting more money in return. I began to wonder, with that many gullible people, can the human race as a whole, really survive carrying that much dead weight? Yeah, you can say I'm being critical or cruel or cynical, but really, falling for the Nigerian email scam through a dating site? That's a new level of...Duh!

On a lighter note, match.com does not seem so bad.  It takes a while to understand how it really works, but once you figure out how to tell members from non, things do actually seem to move along.

Playing With Speed.

Freehand Slowing Down The Shutter Speed

Rushing The Wall

So many blogs I've written don't even get posted and I'm usually shocked at the time between posts. Two weeks ago I wrote a blog(not posted) about taking up tennis. I have not taken formal training, I just went out, bought a good racquet and began practicing on the wall at the park. I thought of all the lessons that you learn by playing tennis against a wall. Things like:

“No matter how hard you try, the ball always ends up back in your court.”

“You can never win, playing against a wall, but you can always keep improving by doing so.”

“Sometimes the outcome is inevitable, but the motions still worthy of completing.”

“Just because your opponent can not be defeated, does not mean you can not succeed when against him.”

The last two weeks have been too cold for me to play and I tweaked my back doing another new sport, bowling. Reading back the nearly completed blog, I realized the lessons it contained have a so much broader application for life.

The more volleys we get in the better we feel about ourselves. The more we apply ourselves, the more we get out of it. The more we realize we want to win, but winning isn't always attainable, the better we can become.

I'm thankful that my play against the wall so far has left me a little banged up, a little wiser and ready to continue improving myself when I can.

Original Photo

Photo credits go to Lizzy.  Gimping Emily out of the shot was done by me.

Merry Santamas! aka. Another reason I'm not religious.

Christmas morning at 1:32a.m. 

All the shopping is done.

All the gifts wrapped.

Christmas Eve dinner was a success.

All the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. 

The gifts are under the tree. 

Dinner is prepped for tomorrow. 

The kids are dreaming of tablets and 3d Nintendo. 

I'm exhausted and thankful that it is almost over. 

Then it hits me... “Why is the whole christian world waiting for Santa Claus and not Jesus?”

Merry Santamas!

Setting Match.com On Fire?

All my local friends, who were single, are no longer single.  I'm the last one standing.  This causes a number of problems. My female friends' new boyfriends aren't happy when a single guy hangs out with their girlfriend.  My guy friends' girlfriends don't like them hanging out with the single ex-wingman. Lastly, going out with a 'couple' more than once in a while makes you a flat third wheel.

In light of this, I decided to join a dating site last week. Thought hell, why not, friends have done it with some success, how hard could it be? Day one, try signing up for match.com and it wouldn't take my credit card. I should have taken that as some cosmic foreshadowing, but I'm really not that bright. I called up customer service and my card goes through. They explain that if I do not find someone in six months, they will give me the next six free. Wow! So if it doesn't work in the first six months, They somehow think the second six will render MUCH better results. They give you stats on everything else on the site, nowhere are there any stats on that.

I set up my profile, wrote a quick summary of me and what I do. Now it's time to put a picture up. Well, I'm the photographer. Always being behind the camera means I'm very rarely in front of it. There is a reason I'm not in front of a camera. When I was younger, I thought I was the ugliest person in the universe. Why, because I am so 'not photogenic', my good side is from below. I really thought I looked like I did in the majority of the pictures until a photographer friend convinced me I really wasn't that bad and took a good picture of me. I'm not saying when I saw it that I was the best looking guy in the world, but I was far from the worst. Short story long, I downloaded a picture I took when I was dabbling in other dating sites a year ago, one that looks like I was posing and shocked to be photographed, at the same time. I figure, what the hell, the women will be pleasantly surprised when they see me in person. I look better than I do in that picture and I can always change it out. 

That leads to Thanksgiving night, I have a friend take several pictures of me. I think, now I'll have a good picture to put up on the site. OK, somehow I forgot how 'non photogenic' I am. The best picture out of the dozen or so makes me look like Farsworth from Futurama, if I lost the facial hair and added some wrinkles. No matter, up on the site it goes.

Farnsworth

ME

It's time to start searching. I punch up women in my area 36-42 looking for a 41 year old guy. Wow, this looks great, a whole bunch of hits. Now it's time to play the odds game. Click on the first one and the profile looks really good. Hey, this computer dating thing isn't so bad. Attractive brunette, 39, 5'0, cool profile. That is until I get to the, 'HER DATE' portion. Her date according to her profile is 5'11 or better. Really? The guy needs to be at least 11 inches taller than her? OK, that's only the first, profile. Number two Age 38, cute brunette, 5'2, interesting profile, Her Date 5'10. I continued on to several more ladies and the majority of them are looking for a guy at least six inches taller than they are. Wow, I've seen stripper heels that wouldn't make up for those differences. To give reference, I'm 5'6¾ . I put down 5'6 for my profile until a friend explained the whole rounding thing to me and I changed it to 5'7.

Now, I can understand if your athletic and want someone athletic or are into a particular hobby and want to make sure your potential dates are also interested in that hobby, but to say you want someone that much taller would be akin to me saying, must be a super model with d-cups.

After some thought, I talked to several friends who have done the internet dating thing and what they said, shocked me. The women said that the men they dated all lied about their height, so I should too. The men said that I should not only lie about my height, but use the term 'laid back' in my profile because the women all like that.  Some men claimed most of the women on dating sites lie about their age, so it would be OK for me to 'exaggerate' things.  All agreed that nobody looks like their pictures anyway and the profiles are just a game. Huh? So to find someone who I expect to be honest with me and in turn someone who expects me to be honest with them, we both lie? I already stated that I'm not the brightest guy in the world, but I don't think that's a real good start for a relationship. If that disqualifies me from dating women who do, then so be it. Maybe this internet dating thing is hard.

Speak Plane!

I've been traveling lately, so the next few blogs will be on that topic.

For those of you that fly, here are several rules of conduct.

1. A Carry On is a small bag, not all your luggage because your too f'ing lazy or cheap.
2. Though I'm sure you are a special needs person, “Wanting to get on the plane first.”, does not qualify, wait until they call your row. That courtesy is extended to people who have a physical, not mental need for it.
3. If you have found your row, sit the F' down, standing in the aisle to take off your jacket or get one last stretch holds up the entire plane.
4. Pressing the stewardess button, unless you are in first class, before everyone else is seated just turns on a dickhead beacon.
5. If you need to put more than one bag in the overhead, quickly press the stewardess button and read rule 4.
6. A coach seat is not an extra space seat, an extra space seat is not a first class seat. If you do not know the difference of privileges, don't complain, squeeze another dime out of your ass next time and find out.
7. The restroom is not supposed to look like a third world nation. If you have not learned to go to the bathroom like a human being, at least figure out how to clean up like one.
8. When deboarding the plane, if you put something in the overhead that takes more than five seconds to take out, sit the F' down and wait. Realize that some of the 120 people behind you need to catch connecting planes.
9. The luggage carousel is not a Disney ride. If, when you grab your bag, people are placing odds on you or the carousel while it drags you around, your bag is too heavy. If you can not lift your luggage, you should not take it with you or expect someone else to do the heavy lifting for you.

Saturday At Allaire State Park.

Last picture straightened, due to my unbalanced personality.

Bob The Bull Dog, Yes We Can.

So, my buddy needed to go on a business trip and asked if I could take care of his Bull dog. Being the nice guy (read sucker) that I am, I agreed. Almost two weeks later I realize I made a mistake. Bob, the bull dog is awesome. He is a 90lb pile of wrinkles, hair and cute that spews disgusting by-products from every orifice. We are not talking usual body functions either. Mucus comes from his eyes, drool come from his jowls, smelly oils come from his skin, you get the picture.

Not currently being a dog owner, I forgot how much time and energy goes into a dog, especially one as needy as Bob. Unfortunately when Bob got to my house he was so out of shape, he couldn't even do a two hundred yard walk without taking five rests along the way. I know bull dogs are generally lethargic, but there comes a point in time when you have to decide whether to walk a dog or start burying it.

Did someone say snoring. Yup, bull dogs are notorious for that and Bob brings it to a whole new level. The lawn people actually came to my door at 8:00a.m. And asked me if I could turn down the wood chipper, they were getting complaints.

Don't get me wrong, Bob is a big lug-of-love. He's fun to watch, when he's awake. He is friendly to everyone. He's playful (in a short burst or one-off kind of way). He's solid enough to pet. In fact he is so solid, when he's bad, you can't physically hurt this dog, so you have to hurt his feelings. He gets his feelings hurt easily, too easily. I brought Bob to see the neighbor's dog, a Pomeranian. The Pomeranian is a great dog, she's small, friendly and spoiled beyond belief. Her first impression of Bob was Holy S#!^, Godzirra!!!! Of course when she barked and walked away from Bob, Bob started crying. Every visit over there ends up with Bob crying.

My biggest issue with Bob is that he keeps me at the co-op, I feel like I can't leave. He whines for attention more than he breathes. The few times I've left the co-op, he has barked non-stop and the time I left for 4 hours, he thought it would be cute to poop on his blanket. Two more days of Bob. I'd like to say I'll miss him but I know, though he will not be here, his smell will linger on.

Creative Thursday - Monarch, Tiger and Tree Oysters

100% of the People Polled in my Co-op Unit Say...

It's amazing, I did a poll in my co-op unit and here are the results...

100% believe no one would say they want to be taxed more.

100% believe harvard graduates are the dumbest people in America.

100% believe Alfred Nobel would have committed suicide, if he wasn't already dead

100% believe The liberal media believes the public is too stupid to question their ignorance.

100% believe the liberal media thinks their ignorance is genius.

100% believe that Reuters should be renamed Roto Reuters because all they do is write shit.

I was reading a Reuters article, oh who am I kidding Reuters hasn't written anything but propaganda or fluff for years. The piece is,  'Americans back mixed solution for debt crisis: Reuters/Ipsos poll' The piece is trying to make people believe that a, “...poll found that 56 percent of Americans want to see a combination of government spending cuts and tax increases included in a deal to bring down the U.S. budget deficit...”. Really? Let's raise the taxes on these 56% of the people and take care of our budget problems.

The next great quote is from a pollster, Julia Clark, she says., “...It does seem to be that the popular narrative is falling on the side of the president on this one...”. Really, so you are saying THE PRESIDENT WANTS TO RAISE TAXES ON EVERYONE? It is about time the media admits to this. Of course dim witted Julia did not expect Americans to read that into her quote.

But wait, as in a cheesy infomercial, there is more.

The piece then has a section siting, “WHO'S TO BLAME?”. In this section, “...The Reuters/Ipsos poll found that 31 percent of respondents held Republican lawmakers responsible... 21 percent blamed Obama and 9 percent blamed Democratic lawmakers.”, now I'm no math teacher, but given the admitted, “...margin of error of 4 percentage points for all respondents...”, that means the numbers, 31% republican, 30% democrat are insignificant. 

It then continues, “...Along those lines, 29 percent said Republican lawmakers should give the most ground in the negotiations, a quarter said Obama should and a fifth said Democrats should.”. What. Wait. Along those lines? Who should give the most ground? Obama isn't a democrat?”. I think I need two quick impromptu polls in the co-op.

100% believe a quarter + a fifth = 45%

100% believe 45% > 29%

By Reuters own admission, 45% of the people side against the democrats and the president. That would mean Reuters article contradicts itself and it's title completely.

So Reuters, you useless, uneducated, hacks! Please learn how to report the news and while you are at it, take a basic math course.

Politicians Es Bardus! Debt Ceiling.

I wrote a blog for today on Minimalism, but thought this one would be more appropriate to post.

When I was married, money was no object, I earned it and my ex spent it. She then opened up as many credit cards as possible and used them up. If a piece of furniture did not look new, it was replaced. If a room wasn't just the right color it was repainted. Financially, we were out of control.

After the divorce, I decided I needed to cut my expenses. I lived in my mom's basement for a year. When my wife bought out our previous house, I went home shopping and decided to buy the co-op instead of a house. I paid cash, I did not want the burden of a mortgage and high utility bills that I had, had for my entire adult life. I paid off my credit cards.

I had large alimony and child support payments as well as insurance and school payments. I needed to furnish a co-op and fix it up. I had to pay off a lawyers bill and put my life back on track. I decided after seeing how detrimental credit cards were, that I would cancel every last one. I needed to keep afloat and begin saving. I decided to put away money each month that I would not touch. That meant no extraneous purchases, trips to the movies, nights at the bar or eating out at restaurants.

The final part of the plan was to stay within my means, my co-op still needs work done, but I won't do it at the expense of my savings. I budget in money each month so larger projects have to be planned and smaller ones prioritized.

Now that I am running at zero debt and my budget allows it, I am living pretty well. By keeping my spending to a minimum, I always have money in the bank and can do things that I never thought I could before.

Where is all this going? Politicians Es Bardus!

Realizing a financial problem, I Cut my spending, Capped my Expenses and Balanced my budget. With the whole 'debt ceiling crisis' that our country is in, the politicians do not get these simple concepts, at least most of them don't. They could have raised the debt ceiling last week if they wanted to. Most people do not realize that a Cut, Cap and Balance bill passed in the house, but was blocked by the senate. This bill would have raised the debt limit, forced the government to cut spending, capped spending based on taxes collected and passed a balanced budget amendment to The Constitution. While watching C-Span (Queue the cricket sounds), I was astonished by how many politician were vehemently opposed to this bill. Check your politicians voting record and if he was against this, VOTE HIM OUT! Asking a politician to stop spending is like asking the rain to stop falling. Even the president threatened to veto this bill if it passed the senate.

I'm tired of hearing that it is political posturing or that one side is to blame more than the other. Both parties have ignored their responsibility to the people, both parties are anti-American and anti-Constitution.

I actually have a question for our ignorant Hawaiian president or anyone else that would like to answer it. Why would social security be the first thing cut if the government ran out of money? Social security is funded by payments that the citizens made (and are still making). Money that our politicians have stolen (Nice lock box, biggest douche in the universe aka. Al Gore). Why wouldn't unfunded programs be the first to be cut? Stop scaring our seniors!  Start scaring our least productive members!

Unfortunately, God has blessed America, too much. Now all we can say is God help America.

NetFlix, Gross Customer Service.

I have always been a firm believer in NetFlix's business concepts. That was until yesterday when I received an email, from them, explaining that I would have to pay a 60% price increase, for the same service I am receiving today. I'm a big advocate of customer service and will gladly pay more for an item or service if their company is customer-centric. Unfortunately, I was fooled into believing Netflix was one of those companies by there constant emails and recommendations.

It is almost like a politician has taken over NetfFix. Being from NJ, I remember when our state fruit, governor Jim McGreedy, came up with a plan to balance the budget by raising taxes on cigarettes. Unfortunately those horrible smokers quit en mass and left a huge hole in the budget. An example of the basic math behind this stupidity is this.
You have 100,000 people smoking that pay a 1.00 tax for a total of $100,000.00
You raise the tax on cigarettes by .50 to get an additional $50,000.00
You plan on getting $150,000 total.
40% of the smokers quit.
60,000 remaining smokers pay the new $1.50 tax for a total of $90,000
You may say Reed, that is a $10,000 dollar loss. Wrong! That is a $60,000 loss. Remember $150,000 was spent in the budget.
Let's say we change the new tax number from .50 to .75, that changes the revenue to $105,000 dollars. That assumes the extra .25 does not get anyone else to quit. It is still a $55,000 loss and a guarantee that less people will be in the tax pool going forward.

Where is all this going? What does this have to do with Netflix? Simple, if 40% of the people who are currently on NetFlix quit, they will lose money. Worse, going forward, less people will join NetFlix in the first place.

With the business climate that NetFlix is in, they do need to increase their rates. My problem is that I usually get stroked before I get F*!^ed, well at least I got a movie out of the deal. If NetFlix wanted customer's like me to stay, they should have at least offered free Blu-Ray or some other insignificant(to their bottom line) additional services.

To all of the people that I have talked into joining NetFlix, I apologize. The service was good while it lasted though.

How Many Journalists Does It Take to Screw Up a Light Bulb?

Bad Mod, even if it did only take 5 minutes.

I read an article “House Republicans: Down with squiggly light bulbs “ By JIM ABRAMS

Associated Press. (Link here, as long as it works).  This is one of those articles that is so slanted left, my guess is that Jim walks around bent over, ready to take it at all times.

The article is about a law passed during the Bush/democrat house era, that forces higher energy efficiency of light bulbs. Jim basically says how the Republicans do not understand the impact on the energy costs of the bulbs.

Jim, calls out Rep. Joe Barton, R Texas for saying "If you are Al Gore and want to spend $10 for a light bulb, more power to you,", and says that Barton exaggerated the cost of most energy efficient bulbs. Really Jim? Are you that far out of touch that you should be a politician? Have you ever actually purchased or used one of these 'Energy-efficient' bulbs? My guess is no! The L.E.D.s cost approx. $35 each for a 60w equivalent(brightest available at Home Depot) and 100w equivalent cfls run about $8 each (For full spectrum, non-subsidized).

Jim then goes on to say... 'The White House says the standards drive U.S. innovation, create manufacturing jobs and reduce harmful greenhouse gas emissions.'. Hey Jim, where are those manufacturing jobs being created? In the U.S.? No you idiot, China, Japan, Over-seas-istan, anywhere OSHA can't dictate stupid rules that harm businesses and destroy jobs. Don't see you calling the White House out Jim. Oh, and about Green House gas emissions and the environment, where do you mention the environmental hazards of cfls? If they break, they release poisonous gasses into your house and the atmosphere, not to mention the amount of Mercury they use and the dangers in manufacturing them.

To top it all off, Jim then talks of an advocacy group that has quotes from Thomas Edison's(inventor of the incandescent bulb) great-grandson and great-nephew saying, they support the new standards. Really Jim? What have these 'kin', as you put it in your article, invented? I have ancestor that invented things too. Am I a legitimate source to quote about them? Not even close.

Don't worry Jim, I'm almost done with you. The majority of bulbs in my house are L.E.D.s, the remainder are CFLs. Why Jim? I believe in the technologies. I don't need someone forcing me to buy something I do not want to because, they feel, it is better for me. If you like this law Jim, why don't you ask the government to do it right? If we want to talk efficiency, outlaw all cfls in favor of L.E.D.s, outlaw all L.C.D. and plasma TVs in favor of L.E.D.s and D.L.P.s and force, I mean pass a law against all non-rechargeable batteries?  I know why not, in your mind Jim, they(the politicians) are soooooooo much smarter than you. They can't trust people like you to make up your own mind and exert your ability to change the market. They need to force you, for your own good.

This issue is so much bigger than someone like Jim could understand. We (the people) subscribe to democracy and capitalism. The government and media need to learn what that means. It means that the people vote with their money. In the form of light bulbs, the free market holds an election. People vote on what they want, by buying one or more type(s) of bulb(s). The light bulb(s) that get enough votes(purchases), to continue to be sold, win.

I guess I ask to much when I ask for a non-partial, informative media.

P.S. If anyone knows what light bulbs are being used in the White House and what the cost of those bulbs were, please email me. I have not found any information after researching it.

A Politician is NOT Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.

Summer is here and that means I get the girls on alternating weeks. This past weeks lesson was compliments of the U.S. Government. I told Lizzy that if she and Emily did the dishes I would give them each ten dollars. I then proclaimed to Emily that if she did not do the dishes, she would still get the ten dollars. Emily said cool and went to play on her Ipod. Lizzy complained it was unfair and that if she did the dishes alone deserved the full amount. I explained to Lizzy that we were going by the rules of our elected officials and therefore because she was the worker, she would have to give Emily, the non-worker her earnings. The wealth had to be redistributed. Lizzy was annoyed and asked what would happen if she did not do the dishes. I explained to the kids that, what they just learned, was the failings of a concept that liberals will defend MORE than The Constitution of our great nation; MORE than the principles of freedom our very country was founded on.  It is called socialism.

People liken socialism to charity, it should be likened to armed robbery. While charity is the ability to freely give to those in need, socialism is using the governments power to force one person to give to a less deserving person.

It never ceases to amaze me that my children at 8 and 13 can learn simple lessons in under fifteen minutes that our politicians, media and current generations couldn't grasp in 78 years. I hope that the seniors who put us in this mess, my generation which has contributed to this mess and the following generation that is aggravating this mess can use what is left of their precious brain power to make changes. At least I know if they don't, my children will be prepared to, if it is not too late.

Creative Thursday - Writing Pad

Creative Thursday - Falling on the Path.

Tuesday Tips for Living Alone – 3.48lbs. of Pig Were Harmed in the Writing of This Blog!

It has come to my attention that manufacturers have completely missed the whole single serve concept. In fact the whole size thing has confused them. Whether it be the quantity or count, somehow there is either never enough or too much.

Let's start, simply, by going through the departments of a store.

Produce. There is a new trend at the supermarkets and farmers markets in which an employee stuffs cherries, grapes or the like into a specialized bag, seals it and leaves you to either brake the seal or buy 3 lbs. worth. Yeah, I can get bananas, and other fruits and vegetables based on how much I'm going to eat, that euphoria ends with carrots and celery. They are bagged on a plantation in Guacamola and can't be separated under penalty of, 'I don't know'. Amazingly they charge by the pound and have an exact pound weight on the bag, nifty trick. Want a salad with your dinner? Grab a head of lettuce, if you need ten. Oh wait, bagged salad. Wow, small bag feeds 2-3 and family size feeds 3-4 (best family size ratio in the store).

Meat. Try finding chicken, pork or beef in a single serving pack. It's the normal size or Family Pack. Family Pack? Really? What normal family eats 3 lbs. of chopped meat, 15 pork chops or 20+ chicken parts at a sitting? They should either call it the 'call your doctor first pack' or the 'If you bought a huge ass freezer pack'. Purdue thought they would cover all of their bases and call their version 'Perfect Portions' or 'Individually Wrapped'. Depending on whether you go to the typical store or the warehouse variety, this is the pack for families who have between 6 and 20 individuals and each wish to unwrap their own raw piece of chicken.

General food. Let's look at juice boxes. Ask yourself how many juice boxes does a typical kid drink when they are thirsty? How about an adult? The answer varies based on the juice box. They come in sizes from 3 to 8 ounces. 3 ounces is a dose, not a drink. To make up for this slight liquid inadequacy, at wholesale clubs, they package them neatly in case quantities of thirty six or forty eight. I'm thinking, this is a place for consolidation. In a wierd reversal, they do have single serve baked goods and cookies. Really? If we were honest with ourselves, the regular size would be called single serve, no matter what size. That's like saying I have single serve money. You don't want a lot, just take a few pennies and leave the bills.

The Deli. The single serve mecca of the supermarket. That is until the person behind the counter gets annoyed at you ordering a quarter or eighth pound of each item. At best they cut it thick, or press on it. At worst, don't ask.

Frozen foods. Except for the gallons of ice cream, no single serve here. Yeah, I'm psychic, I know you are all thinking, 'Reed, this aisle has loads of single serve meals with pictures of beautiful gourmet, looking, food on them.'. Well, technically the portion sizes are single serve. Health wise, these meals could give daily allowance of shit to an army. You might as well eat a tub of lard, pound of salt and a can of processed cheese 'food', the nutritional value(and probably ingredients) are close to the same. Oh, about the pictures. If you've ever had frozen food that looks like the picture, email me. I won't hold my breath.

The Dairy. The dairy is pretty serving size friendly. You can buy milk, eggs, cheese, sour cream, cottage cheese, etc. All in various accommodating sizes. Unfortunately, some more reverse single serve faux pas. The incredible shrinking yogurt containers. These are usually sold in four packs(one serving?). Pretty soon these flimsy plastic containers won't even be able to fit the word, 'Yogurt' on them and will just say, 'Yo' and a catchy name. Oh No, it's already happening. The second is the 6.0928973 ounce smoothie that after sticking to the sides of the container is actually 3.2 ounces. Aren't smoothies supposed to be healthy? Who can drink just one at that size? What they need is a liter teflon bottle.

There are two solutions to these problems.  The first, we all need to by huge ass freezers and miles of plastic wrap.

The second is a little more practical and more for the manufactures than the rest of us. Standardize the size of food packaging.

Make a single serving enough for one person, couple serving enough for two and family size enough for four.  Anything bigger could be called large family or lard ass size. It would make dinner parties easier to plan for and maybe even, gasp, make people eat healthier portions.

Learning to Walk.

My eldest daughter graduated from 8^th grade today. Just this morning, it seems, we were looking at each other for the first time, she helplessly up at me, grabbing my finger and reassuring me that we would get through the journey ahead. The calendar pages have browned and fallen; the path never seems to stop growing behind us. The baby in the pink blanket is now a young woman in a white robe and square cap.

My pride and amazement, of my children, never ceases. When Emily received The President's Award for Academic Excellence (not Achievement) this year, I was shocked and pleased.

Next year, Emily will be going to a parochial high school I'm not that fond of. A school I went to for a year and only learned, through observation, that smart and educated are not synonyms. Some years later, in college, I ended my educational career when I was asked to leave a class after a heated debate about The Civil War (I was in a Dallas College and for the record, Grant had every right to break Lee's sword. He was, after all, the victor.). I hope the school Emily is going to has gotten better. I'm sure she will succeed, because or in spite of the school. She has a thirst for knowledge that I did not develop until later in life.

As an Alumni of her grade school, I was asked if I would like to walk in the procession.  The last time I walked in a procession at the church, I was wearing a blue gown and square cap. It was 27 years ago.

As I sit in the church, I watch Emily walk down the aisle; I fight tears. Shortly our path together will end and a new path will emerge for her. I say a prayer to a god, I know she believes in. I think of how much I cherish the education that my mother struggled to give me. I think of the tools and gifts I received from this school. I am thankful that they have shaped me into who I am today. I look at Emily, not as my little girl, but as a young woman and with a sigh of relief realize, the school has given her the foundation that she needs. They taught her to take her first steps on the road of life.

Creative Thursday - Bubbles, Glass and Light.

Why do I like nature photos so much?  Minimal screwing with light.  The sun is either here or there.  I can usually change my position to accommodate or wait for the shot.  Inside, artificial light is a must.  I hate artificial light.  I know most of you are saying I could use the portable photo studio, but that does not capture the moment or 'real life' the way I like to.  If you come to the co-op, this is actually what you will see (Verdict is still out on whether the glasses stay underneath or not though), not a black background with led's to make glass 'look pretty'.
Enough ranting though, the pictures above are of Lizzy's(blue) and Emily's(pink) blown glass bubbles with my blown 'disciplinary' glass in the center.

Varsity Season and the Seasoned.

      So tonight was the parent daughter softball game. It was the school varsity team vs. the old people. Basically, it is a vehicle by which the kids can realize; if they want to play sports, they better do it when they are young, the window of opportunity slams shut pretty hard. The ex dropped Emily and Lizzy off and got out of dodge. Lizzy was a cheerleader, though she looked more like someone playing Angry Birds, while sitting on the bleachers the whole time.

      Parents were up first and of course, I was first at bat. I didn't embarrass myself at this point, got a hit and made it to first base. I decided, what the hell, I'll steal second. Remember the whole, 'I didn't embarrass myself at this point'?  Well, that point was about to come.  As the pitcher released the ball, I forgot the formula, 'mass * velocity + bad ankle = the play I was about to make'. I barreled towards second base and swore I saw an ant walking by me. I thought, body be damned and as I had to beat the ball, slid. In my monkey brain, it looked AWESOME. In reality I went from A. Rod to A Hole. I slid past the base and while grabbing at dirt, like a falling mountain climber grabbing at the surface, finally stopped as my ankle hit, what could have been a grain of sand or blade of grass but felt like a, Grand Canyon size, divot.  I clawed backwards towards the base and finally reached it, the umpire yelled, Safe!'. My newly twisted right ankle felt 'out' and I'm pretty sure it was a bad call, so I ignored it and limped back to the dugout.

      I did get a run(or in my case, I guess you would call it a hobble) and while fielding, I did run down the ball a couple of times(bad ankle and all) only to bobble it, while trying to toss it from my mitt to my throwing hand. The amazing part, to me, was how good some of these parents were. In the end, we softened up our play considerably and let the girls score enough to win.

Where is all this going?

      For starters, parents be involved! The parents that showed up for the game had a great time and their kids appreciated it. One of the parents had a bad knee and she was there playing to show her support for her daughters. I can understand that some parents couldn't make it at 5:30p.m., I used to commute, but ones that could have, should have. How is your child going to think anything they do is important, if you do not take the time to show them your support?

      Secondly, those who know me, know I do not believe in taking it easy in competition and do not feel people should be entitled to winning or just getting a trophy.  This was different though.  The uber-competitive parents out there on that field blatantly softened up at the end, to show the girls respect(not entitlement) for the amazing season they and their coach put together. They achieved the best Varsity Softball record the school ever had. They had the highest batting averages and some of the best stats in the league. They made it to the playoffs. They worked really hard and in the end, looked like a team.

      Lastly, appreciate your kids coaches. I actually went to grade school with Emily's coach; he was super competitive then and is super competitive now. I'm not saying his cap did not take more than a few tosses at the ground but he and the assistant coach were tough when the girls needed it without being abusive or condescending. Through great mentoring skill, they made a group of young girls into softball players and collectively a formidable team.

Emily is already interested in pursuing softball when she gets to high school next year. You know I'll be at every game cheering her team on, safely from the bleachers.

I Inhaled and Now I Have a Little Pane In My Stomach.

     I've become a total Groupon fanatic. I see something on Groupon, research it, buy the Groupon and do it. This post is not about Groupon though; it is about something I found there. I found a Groupon for Hot Sand, a glass studio in Asbury Park, NJ. I bought a blowing session for each of the girls and a sand cast session for myself. The weather being so hot this past weekend, we limited our outside time to the mornings and evenings. Sunday afternoon, we decided to go to the Hot Sands studio and use the Groupons. The kids each blew a glass bubble and I decided, Groupon be damned, on blowing a drinking glass.

     There was one young girl ahead of us; we and the rest of the crowd were amazed as she turned a piece of molten glass into a glowing bubble right before our eyes. Looking at all the amazing pieces they had for sale hanging from the ceiling, lining shelves and on the walls, we realized just how incredible the artistic nature of glass really was. There were spectacular examples of blown, cast, fused and slumped glass everywhere.

It was our turn and we elected Lizzy to go first. The artisan explained the entire process and answered some questions Lizzy had. To say Lizzy looked a little uncomfortable as the pipe with the molten glass on the end of it approached the work bench, would probably be an understatement. Working with 2100 degrees of amorphous silicon lava initially seemed a bit much for her. After she grabbed it, with what looked like oversize tweezers, and began twisting it, she became quite at ease with the glass. Several color adds, rolls, blows, cools and reheats later Lizzy's globe was complete. The master glassman then brought it to the cooling oven and we watched as he tapped the rod and the globe gently rolled off.

After watching Lizzy, Emily was ready to go. A crowd had gathered and was watching. Emily was a bit more confident and as I watched the process again, I truly began to appreciate the amount of work that goes into the art. Like so many other things I wondered how the first glass blowers figured out the techniques and best practices that were needed for the form. Emily looked a little bored at the work bench but a few minutes later, her globe was also in the cooling oven.

Next it was my turn. I love doing new things! Blowing glass is a much more gentle process then I imagined. More work and time is spent in the shaping, stretching, heating and cutting. I never knew that when heated, glass could be cut with metal shears, so it was amazing to watch a true artisan do so. Within a short while, my glass was in the cooling oven and the kids and I were on our way home.

 

After the relative silence, of the girls, during and after the process, I was shocked when they began telling everyone we talked to how cool the whole thing was. I'll be picking up our own little pieces of art this Friday. I can't wait to see how they came out.

     I have to give a major shout out to the staff at Hot Sand, they were friendly, knowledgeable and made the whole process spectacular. They do the lion's share of the work in helping you make amazing creations. Their approach in educating and promoting the art of glass through hands on work made this one of the best experiences the kids and I have had in a while and has set the bar pretty high for this summer. We will definitely be going back. If you are ever in NJ, go to the boardwalk in Asbury Park and stop by Hot Sand for a visual treat and a unique souvenir.  Oh, unlike me, remember to bring your good camera.  
Their website can be found here. http://www.hotsandap.com/

I Hate Facebook and Twitter

I don't think it is the actual services, so much as it is their impact on our dimwitted society. I was out the other night and a woman actually said, “Face Palm”. Really? I'm less than two feet from you. In fact, I'm looking right at you. Are you so lazy that you can't do the gesture or has your feeble mind lost the ability to express itself in person? At this rate, everyone will walk around expressionless and just talk. Next time someone verbalizes an expression, I think I'll have to blurt out, “Middle finger!”, and see if they get it.

Another thing that has to go is the idea that an acronym or abbreviation of something is an actual word, W.T.F.? I understand in this day and age there are some typing challenged people (maybe 5), but do you talk so slow that you need to say it out loud in that form? As if saying everything in short form isn't bad enough, pictures have become verbalized. Since when has heart become a synonym for love? People actually type out or say, 'I heart you' . Every time I hear this, I want to stab them in the love.

Text streams. I understand the need for people to communicate on a constant basis, when they have something to say, but must they discuss their every waking thought and action, no matter how inappropriate. For those of you who don't use these services, I'll give you a quick rundown of what your missing and some translations of the acronyms, in italics.

I just pooped and it was brown and green, IDIOT (I Did It In Our Toilet)

#toilet

You must be STUPID (Stunned That U Pooped In Der)

#casual user

Oops, I dropped my phone in while typing, I need to RITALIN (Reach In Toilet And Laugh Insanely Now)

#toilet

I can't believe you reached in there and are typing CRAP (Clever Rhyming Acronym Poetry)

#Lazy Bum

That's funny, 'in' rhymes with 'RITALIN'. I bet you FART (Fear Another Raging Turd)

# I'm confused

I have to BEAT (Be Entertaining And Teach) my child.

#toilet

OK, I'm BEATing my child now. He has a booger in his nose. :?)

#toilet

Last time my child had one, I scraped it out with a Hanger. 8@(

#clueless

I heart using hangers

#toilet

This dribble goes on non-stop minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day. When something finally does happen exciting in the persons life, nobody really gives a crap.

Where is all this leading to? My teenage daughter just opened a Facebook account. Now I'll have to open one, to keep an eye on her. How unkewl is that?

Sad Memorial Day - 2011

     I put up a new flag for Memorial Day and began reading on the internet about different Memorial Day 'festivities'. I also began thinking of the whole concept of 'Happy Memorial Day', it's kind of an oxymoron. There is nothing happy about Memorial Day.
     Memorial Day, we honor the greatest of our dead, our fallen military heroes.  On Veteran’s day, we are to honor our Veterans. Everyday of the year we should thank God for the brave men and women of our military who keep us safe and make us proud.

      With that thought in mind the kids and I did not go to the parade this year. I failed to find out about the military service up the road until it was too late, so we watched several episodes of, 'America: The Story of Us.'. It's a well done series, that though left out a lot of crucial facts, shows how through blood of soldiers and ingenuity of it's people, America forged itself.

      It is sad to me that we consider this a 'happy' day. Until this year, I never gave it much thought. It had always been a day of hot dogs, hamburgers and the unofficial start of the summer season. Now I realize this should be a day of honor and respect for those who served and gave their lives as well as their families who made the ultimate sacrifice.

      It doesn't matter how old you are. You are never to old to learn or gain understanding. The kids and I talked a lot about the meaning of Memorial Day. I think some of the impact was lost. In a way I'm glad, the last glimmer of innocence has not been smitten by the realities of adulthood. They may be embarrassed when we drive by the local fort and I honk my horn 'in support of our troops', but I hope, when they get older, they will remember and understand that you can hate the war, not the soldier. I also hope they realize the sacrifice and sanctity of dying in the service of your country for the hopes and dreams of your fellow man.

We Honor Those Who Have Fallen For Us and God Bless America!

Happy Blogiversary - Populus Es Bardus

Today is the one year mark for Populous Es Bardus. In some ways it seems like just yesterday I started it, in others it seems like forever ago. I wish I had written more this past year and will be writing on a more frequent schedule going forward. I have also updated my photography equipment (LOVE my lenses!), so look forward to more, or at least better pictures.

The little blog that started as a means to hone my photography; writing skills and relieve me from the boredom of writing technical manuals has blossomed quite nicely. 

 

Some fun facts about the blog...

• It has now been read in 47 states.  Screw you Wyoming, Montana and North Dakota.
• It has been browsed in at least 10 countries

• There have been over 6000 page views.
• The most viewed blog entry is Some Daughter at about 2000 page views.
• The lowest viewed blog entry (ranked) is Sand Destiny under 20 page views.
• Funniest Search Keywords, 'girl belly down on bed' (The runner ups may be a future post).
• 1.2% of my visitors still use dial-up for their internet.
• 10 different OS's and 9 different browsers have been identified using the site.
• Over 20% of my traffic comes from Google. 
• This will be the 180th post.

Thank You Readers!

A lot of the stats aren't very impressive, but they do shock me. I never thought anyone would care about what I posted or even find the blog, as I've told few people about it. It is true that I would have done the blog even if I had thought no one was actually out there but it is nice to see that people found it and hopefully enjoyed it.

Now for another year!