Robots Take Over the World and are Very Kind Masters.

If anyone believes robots are gentle servants for mankind, they need to buy a Roomba. These seemingly harmless, amazingly helpful, maniacal little hellions will have you trained to serve them within a month. When you first bring one home and open the box, you think cool, I'll never have to vacuum again. That is only because you have not been privy to the cleaning agenda the iRobot Corporation has in store for you.

Day One:

You set up the dock and begin charging the little bugger. An orange light flashes in a soothing, non-threatening way, reassuring you that you did a good job hooking it up, it's charging.

You name it something 'pettish', like Spot, Rover or Robbi.

You move all the wires off your floor.

You clean anything on the floor that the Roomba may try to eat, like cloths, toys, last nights empty bottle.

So far the Roomba has had you do all of the work.
The orange light has now turned to green, hypnotizing you to start up your robotic master.

The Roomba jets around the house bumping and cleaning.
You watch it mesmerized as it cleans EVERYWHERE!  No vacuum had ever gone under the couch no matter how much you bashed the legs with the cleaning head, this thing jets under there with ease.
It pulls the dirt out from under the trim with it's amazing side brushes .
This thing works as hard cleaning as a puppy does messing and when it is done it simply crawls back onto it's base.

You empty the dustbin and WOW, you just vacuumed yesterday, where did all this dirt and dust come from.
You are overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of it's cleaning ability. It has shown it's dominance in the vacuuming arena. If it wanted it's intentions known, it would shout, “You Stupid Human, Your cleaning power is no match for me! Now empty my dustbin.”, but instead it beeps a happy tune every time it starts and docks.

Week 1:

You watch it vacuum everyday.

You bet it won't get that one piece of dirt it flew by on the first pass and constantly lose the bet.

You see the amount of dirt and dust this thing pulls up and the way the floor and even the rugs shine. You begin to feel woefully inadequate in the cleaning arena.

Whenever a speck of dirt gets on the floor, the same speck that would have waited days for you to vacuum, the same speck that would have been lost in the sea of dirt left behind from your previous vacuuming, your eyes burn until you remedy the situation by starting up the mechanical monster in the corner.

Week 2:

You stop watching it vacuum and let it go on it's own.

The Roomba effect sets in. This is the effect by which you realize the floor is so damn clean, you must clean the counters, the table, the ottoman, the TV, the pictures, the windows, the washer and dryer, the sink, the curtains, the railings and everything else.
Like cleaning-dominoes, you topple one job after another while the Roomba sleeps with it's gentle green light taunting you.
Now that you've done all of this work, you know there must be dust on the floor, so you start up the Roomba again. When it is done, as you suspected, the dustbin is full.

Week 3:

You surrender to the simple mechanization.
The realization that you would buy a fleet of robots if they could do the cleaning chores for you sets in.
Your mechanical dirt devil, keeps the floor immaculate only running three times a week, you can't keep the counters clean washing them three times a day.

Week 4:

You ignore the Roomba, while it runs, and it always seems to find and bump your feet.

Your ape brain realizes it's been beat and in an act of defiance, you start wiping dust and crumbs from the table, couch and anywhere else directly onto the floor before starting the Roomba each time.

You sweep the stairs so that the Roomba has more dirt to clean.

Week 5 and on:

"The Roomba" has become a religion.
You constantly keep the floors clean of anything that might upset "The Roomba".
You start "The Roomba" whenever it beckons.
You empty the dustbin without thought.
When people come to your house and compliment your floors, you sound like a fanatic preaching to them of "The Roomba's" greatness.

I'm not saying the Roomba is a bad thing (Especially because it's skirting the couch with it's light flashing, watching me write this.), it is just another piece of technology that has invaded our lives.  It's docking, I need to empty the dustbin now.

Today my co-op, tomorrow the world.