I actually learned a lot about Karma from a friend. When I worked in New York City, I would watch him buy sandwiches for and help homeless people on the street. One day, he borrowed a ten from me to give a homeless guy who was sitting behind a hand written sign. I asked him, "Why $10?". He asked, "Reed, if I forgot to give you the $10 back, would you not be able to eat?". I said, "No.". He said "If that guy doesn't get that $10, he won't be able to, that $10 could change his life." I thought about it and realized that little bit to me, meant so much to others.
The other Karma moment I had was when I was going out to lunch with the same friend. There was a young teenage girl on the sidewalk asking for money and food. I gave her a couple bucks and when we got to the deli, I asked my friend, why he had not done the same. He looked at me and said, "Because you are going to buy her lunch.". I'd seen him do this for multiple people, but before this had never done it myself. I stood at the deli counter not knowing what to order. My friend prompted me to just order something that I would like. I ordered two Turkey Clubs, everyone loves bacon.
When we exited the deli, she was packing up her sign and getting ready to move on. I went up to her and handed her the sandwich. She was much younger than I had realized on the way in. After telling her what it was, she said it was her favorite, hugged me and cried. I'm not going to lie, it kind of freaked me when she did. That was until she backed away and the thankfulness in her eyes touched my heart. I hugged her back and cried. I have issues crying in front of other people, none the less on a city street, but the moment overwhelmed me.
As I turned to make my way back to the office, I realized my friend hadn't even stopped. Back at the office, he didn't say a word about it.
While driving home, I began to tell him about what transpired and he asked, "How did it make you feel?", I said, "I felt connected to humanity. Why didn't you talk to me about it before?". He said, "Giving is best shared between the giver and receiver.". I thought, yeah, her, me and the entire city of NY. I slept better that night than I had slept in years.
I tell this personal story to share something between you and I. There are those that assume people who need it can always get help from somewhere else but them. They assume the people who really need help will always get it. They assume people on the streets have made some sort of choice, be it drugs or laziness to live the way they do. I know better. Though there are people like that on the streets, there are others who just need a simple act of kindness.
The people who truly need help are those who are afraid to look into the eyes of a fellow human being and thank them for the opportunity to show compassion towards humanity.
The other Karma moment I had was when I was going out to lunch with the same friend. There was a young teenage girl on the sidewalk asking for money and food. I gave her a couple bucks and when we got to the deli, I asked my friend, why he had not done the same. He looked at me and said, "Because you are going to buy her lunch.". I'd seen him do this for multiple people, but before this had never done it myself. I stood at the deli counter not knowing what to order. My friend prompted me to just order something that I would like. I ordered two Turkey Clubs, everyone loves bacon.
When we exited the deli, she was packing up her sign and getting ready to move on. I went up to her and handed her the sandwich. She was much younger than I had realized on the way in. After telling her what it was, she said it was her favorite, hugged me and cried. I'm not going to lie, it kind of freaked me when she did. That was until she backed away and the thankfulness in her eyes touched my heart. I hugged her back and cried. I have issues crying in front of other people, none the less on a city street, but the moment overwhelmed me.
As I turned to make my way back to the office, I realized my friend hadn't even stopped. Back at the office, he didn't say a word about it.
While driving home, I began to tell him about what transpired and he asked, "How did it make you feel?", I said, "I felt connected to humanity. Why didn't you talk to me about it before?". He said, "Giving is best shared between the giver and receiver.". I thought, yeah, her, me and the entire city of NY. I slept better that night than I had slept in years.
I tell this personal story to share something between you and I. There are those that assume people who need it can always get help from somewhere else but them. They assume the people who really need help will always get it. They assume people on the streets have made some sort of choice, be it drugs or laziness to live the way they do. I know better. Though there are people like that on the streets, there are others who just need a simple act of kindness.
The people who truly need help are those who are afraid to look into the eyes of a fellow human being and thank them for the opportunity to show compassion towards humanity.
This is such a sad topic for me. I'd love to help those on the streets who really need it, but how can you tell which is which?
ReplyDeleteMy mother-in-law (in Boulder) stopped by one man with a sign saying "Just need anything you can give" and offered him some money if he would help her pass out flyers. His response? "Are you kidding, woman? This is a $100/hr corner!"
I, personally, have witnessed (again in Boulder) a man in a wheelchair begging for money... looked at his watch, stood up, walked away. Meanwhile, another guy walked to the wheelchair, sat down and started his shift.
It's horrible that people like that exist to ruin it for those who really do need it. My solution? I give a lot of money to charities or local families I know need help. I give more than most. So does my husband. So, yes, my experience has resulted in me ignoring the single man on the corner with a sign. My hope is that I make up for it elsewhere.
Reed, this was really beautiful. I don't know how to assess when the need is real or when people mean to swindle others so I mostly evaluate on a case-by-case basis.
ReplyDeleteI did print up business cards once that contained 800 numbers for shelters, runaways, homeless, those suffering from domestic violence, food kitchens... all kinds of resources someone might need if on the street. I would hand those out when I wasn't sure about giving money. I also used to keep crackers in my car, it feels better to give someone food than cash.
Most charities are nothing more than businesses whose employees make a comfortable living "distributing" money to "those who need it.". I guess I'm more cynical of charities and their, percentage of "overhead expenses" then I am about dishonest people on the streets and feel more makes it to those who need it when given directly.
ReplyDeleteI love the concept of giving to local families and wish I did more of that. I wish there was more ways to give to those who need it in the local communities.
The business card idea is excellent. I will have to do this next time I am going to the city. There is one good reason to keep the phone booths(that I usually joke about) on the streets.
As far as the dishonest people, I'm sure Karma has a way of taking care of them too.
I definitely prefer to give to local people and I always tell others around me to keep their eyes and ears open for people who need it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the charities go... I go to Charity Navigator, who ranks charities and shows you how much each charity gives to their employees, advertising and to the cause itself. I don't donate to anything that isn't a 4-star. I don't donate to the huge ones either, for the reason you said.