Dollar Tree Item of the Week - 07/26/2010

I had to go to the library today to return a book, so on the way home, I went to the Dollar Tree. On one of the end caps, they had a bunch of TeeVee brand, 'As Seen On TV' items. It was like moth drawn to flame, I could not resist buying the HD sun glasses, mini nail shaper, car scratch saver and furniture scratch savers. I left behind the water globes, hair volumizer, button expanders and hercules hooks. I almost bought the button expanders to make them the item of the week, but I'm glad I didn't. Who really says, “I've gotten to big for my pants, but I don't want to buy a new pair... I've got it, I'm going to put a fake elastic driven button on my pants so that the waist will fit, but the zipper, seat and legs will look like stuffed sausages.”. Can you say, “Attention Walmart Shoppers!”

Anyway, I bring my loot home and start unpacking it. The nail shaper is for the girls, so I put it up in their room, I take out the furniture scratch savers and go to work on my TV cabinet. It is solid wood, but has been moved quite a bit, so there are some dings in the fruit wood finish. Medium and light color and wham, my TV cabinet looks like new. Hardwood Curio, Bam, from the showroom. Wow, now I want to do an infomercial for this stuff. Of course, they are just wood colored magic markers, but hey, they work.

To the car scratch saver. Why did I buy this?  My car doesn't even have any scratches, so I start looking at my neighbors' cars. Nah, they probably would not be cool with me testing a dollar store product on their car, I'll have to use it on a stranger's car in a parking lot. One item of note about the car scratch saver, you have to “Allow to cure in direct sunlight for up to 48 hours or until dry.”. I would say that this product must be used in Alaska during summer, but only on two consecutive day/nights above 55 degrees.

On to the Dollar Tree Item of the Week. Drum Roll Please...

Smart HD View Wraparounds, sunglasses. I was really looking forward to these, my dad bought the regular ones at Walgreens for like $8, so I figure $1 for the wraparounds is a winner, besides the wraparounds are to be worn over glasses and I have glasses. This is looking good. I take them from the box and read the instructions, yes they really do have instructions for sun glasses. My favorite one is, 'do not stare directly into the sun for prolonged periods of time.'. How long would a prolonged period be? How about not at all?

I should have known these glasses were going to be a problem just by looking at the box.
1. The only two people on the box are the geekiest people you could find and even they only have the glasses on their foreheads.
2. The before and after scenery pictures do not look that impressive.
3. It says they are of European design

I put them on and go out back to look at the clouds. Wow, these things fit comfortably over my glasses and the clouds definitely look cooler. A lot of things I would not have noticed are really standing out, the fence looks very 3d.. I call my dad to see if this is the same brand he got and to ask if he wants a few pairs. He confirms they are the same and tells me how great they are. I'm thinking I'm pretty happy with the purchase. That is until I look in the mirror.

OH MY GOD, THESE SUN GLASSES ARE HUGE. I'm not talking a little bigger than normal, I'm talking if I had spandex and a cape, putting these on would make me look like a cheap 60's super hero/villain. If I wore them with plaid pants pulled up to my naval, I'd look like one of those 90 year olds with those medical glasses so that the sun doesn't burn their vampire eyes out. OK, I tell myself, function over form. That justification completely fails when even the mirror starts laughing at me.

Then I think about it. I'm going to start wearing these when I drive long distances. They will probably relieve some of the stress from my eyes and they do block sun coming in from the side windows. At the very least, the other drivers on the road will think I'm a 90 year old vampire driver and avoid me.

Well, after writing this, I decided to take a picture of me in a cape (Really a flour clothe dish rag tied around my neck. Before you ask, yes I really am a four years old), wearing the HD glasses. Unfortunately, my camera won't focus correctly on timer, it pre-focuses instead of focusing when the time is up. My neighbors must think I am insane seeing all of the flashes that go off in my Co-op late night, either that or they think I am Doctor Frankenstein. I'll leave that image in your head until I can get a picture of my makeshift super hero/villain costume and post it here.